Lackluster bedroom experiences may ultimately be traced back to a few different sources, but for many people, and a good deal of my patients, the main blame for lack of sex and lack of desire for sex can be summed up in just one word: stress.
Chinese medicine would choose a different term: qi stagnation. Qi (pronounced “chee”) is the life force, or energy, that moves throughout the human body. Trouble crops up when there’s not enough qi, or when qi isn’t flowing freely. The trouble will almost surely include loss of libido. “Stress” or “stuck qi” are the same thing—stress stagnates qi, and stuck qi causes stress.

According to Chinese medicine, the female orgasm is very dependent on qi moving freely. Many women consult me because they find their orgasms to be elusive and I use acupuncture and herbs to move their qi. This is effective but you can also move your own qi by following the tips in Chapter 2 of Sex Again: Recharging Your Libido, including:

  • Exercise. Aerobic exercise is best, with yoga or tai chi a close second. Either way, you want to get your blood pumping.
  • Eat right for your sex life. Qi moves best when you are eating a largely plant-based diet with lots of leafy greens, some lean protein, and a small amount of whole grains. Refined carbs (too much pasta and bread) will make you more stuck. So will using food (or alcohol or coffee) as a way to try to relieve stress.
  • Take B complex to offset the effects of stress on the body and help you feel calm, zinc to calm the central nervous system, black current seed oil to help with hormonal transitions, and magnesium to relax muscles.
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