Many of my female patients have trouble reaching orgasm because they get distracted from the business at hand. Fortunately, staying focused is a learned skill— and one of the best ways to start is by meditating.
You’ll find some useful meditation hints in Chapter 6 of Sex Again: Recharging Your Libido. These will help you stay present and connected to your partner while having sex.
Focusing on breathing is one way to stop your mind from wandering. Try this exercise with your partner:
Lie face-to-face. You can be clothed or naked. Touch each other in any way that feels warm and comfortable, or don’t touch if that feels more comfortable. Then practice synchronizing your breath. Breathe in together and out together. This will help you stay connected and aware of each other.
Next, practice breathing in when your partner breathes out and vice versa.
This starts to set up an energetic connection between you, which forms the basis of The Loop, one of the most important exercises in Sex Again.
The Loop is a way of spreading sexual energy throughout your body. With time and practice, it can lead to deeper more whole body orgasms for both men and women. The Loop can be done together during sex, but for now we’ll start by learning how to do it on our own.