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Blog / Emotional Issues

Can infertility make you a better partner?

For most of us, the time during infertility treatments is stressful. We see ourselves in fear, doubt, excitement and mostly the commitment to do the best we can and get the fastest result possible in a process that gives us lots of hope, yet no promises.

In life when we put all our efforts into a specific “project” we strive to succeed in it. Infertility treatments don’t carry the same level of promise.

While going through infertility treatments we usually focus all our effort on doing our best. For most of us it comes after trying to conceive naturally and mostly we have been in the process of getting pregnant for a while. Infertility introduces us to the concept of waiting.

How does life look when you are asked to wait until your most desired outcome will arrive? Not many of us have stopped to look at it this way.

Let’s stop and think of the possibility that waiting can be experienced in many new and empowering ways.  For most of us, waiting to be pregnant creates feelings of restlessness, irritability, and hardly ever comes across as an opportunity for personal growth, shift, and discovery, and joy. But we can allow it to. 

Now that the universe has introduced us to the concept of waiting how can we make the best of it? How can we look at it in a new way?

For me, experience with waiting brought the feeling that I was not in control, so that being somewhat of a challenge, I tried to control even more.  We read, we discuss, we spend most of our time, trying to educating ourselves and doing all that we are recommended.

How does this time of waiting look in the eyes of our partners? Did we ever stop to think about that? Here they are seeing us doing all that we can to make sure that the next cycle is the one that will result in a positive pregnancy test. This is great in so many ways yet might leave the relationship in a state of lacking. Lack of focus, lack of attention, lack of intimacy and connection.

I would like to suggest that as we are faced with a waiting process we look into shifting away from the stress of getting pregnant, and work on creating a powerful connection with our partners. Most of them are showing up with us to the process, yet they feel even more of the powerlessness that we are expecting during this time.

  • How can you spark up your relationship while waiting to become pregnant?
  • In what ways can you acknowledge your partner for the team member that they are?

  • How can you create a special time for both of you that can be spent without pregnancy being the focus?

  • How can you creatively show up for your partner who is a part of this stressful process as well?

Those are some questions that we should consider as we “wait” on our path to parenthood. Seeing the power and possibilities that come up when we realize the committed team that we are with our partners and how we can use it to benefit in all area of our life, (and especially with our future children) are the type of empowering conversations we have during our coaching sessions.

If we let infertility show us the special times, ways of showing up, and connection it had brought into our lives, we can embrace and navigate the journey in a profound way we never thought possible.


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