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You would think that any donor you want would be the right donor.  But, just as there seems to be a guiding force that leads us to our romantic partners and even sometimes our jobs and careers, there is a force that seems to oversee one’s choice of donor egg or sperm.

I first saw this in action more than a decade ago when I was working with a single woman, Becky, who was just turning 40 and wanted to become a mother. She had two failed IUIs already.

Almost as soon as I started our healing session, I was shown that the problem was that she had the wrong donor. I mentioned this very gently, as I intuited that she was quite attached to the donor choice she had made. Indeed, she greeted this information with some annoyance and listed all of her donor’s many good qualities.

Several healings and several IUIs later, Becky was still not pregnant. I again sensed that she simply would not get pregnant with the donor she had chosen. When I mentioned again that Becky might need to get a different donor, she was even more resistant than the first time. Some 8 IUIs and a year passed without Becky getting pregnant.

Then, she got a letter from the sperm bank notifying her that her donor had tested positive for the BRACA1 gene.  I did not feel that this was the reason he wasn’t the correct donor, but it galvanized Becky. Immediately after selecting a new donor, her fertility doctor suggested a small surgical procedure. On her next IUI after the procedure, using the new donor for the first time, Becky became pregnant; nine months later, she gave birth to a healthy baby girl. Using the same donor, she then had a second girl two years later.

Since working with Becky, I went on to support other women and couples where I again saw that there is a higher force at work when choosing a donor to bring one’s soul child into the world.

When you are sorting out what you want in a donor, always ask to be guided to the highest choice for you and your family. Take time to think of the essential qualities and energy that you want in the donor. It’s not just whether someone looks like the parent they are donating for, but whether they have a similar character, talents, and soul. See how a particular choice makes you feel in your body and in your heart.

Wait until you have that knowing feeling: This is it. If for some reason that choice doesn’t work out, it just means there is a more perfect choice for you. Trust that you are being guided.


Diane Goldner, an energy healer for 20 years, does hands on healing in New York and Los Angeles and long-distance healing with people around the United States and is the author of 3 books on healing, all endorsed by top doctors: Yes, You Can Heal, Awakening to the Light and How People Heal. For more information, you can email her here.

Susan and her husband Tom, in their late twenties, had been trying to get pregnant for more than 2 years. They had been to see all the specialists. No one could find a single problem. The diagnosis: “Unexplained Infertility.”

“We are at our wits end,” Susan told me. As I started the healing, I held the intention for Susan to have a healthy, happy pregnancy. Immediately, I saw that her husband’s ambivalence to being a father, stemming from his resentment towards his parents, was the biggest block. Long distance through Susan, I added light to the cords connecting Tom to his parents and showed him a path of forgiveness and acceptance. I also added light to his connection to Susan.

Susan left feeling uplifted. “I initially left the session feeling very relaxed and calm but not really “expecting” anything,” she wrote in an email ten days later.  “I arrived home and had a wonderful and deep sleep. The next morning I awoke feeling more accepting of my situation than I had in months. As the week progressed, I have been able to accept things as they are. I am devoting less time to anger and jealousy and more time to taking care of myself and my little family’s issues.”

“In terms of my husband, he has definitely felt the effects of third party healing,” she continued. “I mentioned to him the next night that he had been healed through me. He was intrigued. We had a great discussion about all his feelings towards having a child.

“Lo and behold, he confessed to wanting a baby, but by doing it the old-fashioned way, not with high priced doctors and medical intervention …. He has come to terms with the realization that he must deal with his parents and their impact on his life. He is feeling better.  In all we are very, very happy. We can’t thank you enough for your help.”

Just a month later, Susan wrote me again. “I just thought I’d let you know we just found out that I am pregnant…. It happened completely naturally, without procedures or drugs …. Just wanted to thank you for all that you did for us.”

That was one of the fastest resolutions of infertility I’ve ever seen as a healer. We were all thrilled. Susan went on to deliver a beautiful boy.

Susan’s situation is not all that unusual. Very often in cases of unexplained infertility, I have found there are reasons a couple isn’t falling pregnant. They just aren’t medical ones such a blocked fallopian tube or a hormonal imbalance or a low ovarian reserve or sperm count.

These issues could have to do with a fear of being pregnant or becoming a parent. In other cases, regret or guilt over a prior abortion needs to be cleared. In other situations, there could be an unresolved issue in the relationship. These types of issues can usually be healed, often quite easily, and then the couple goes on to have their longed-for child.


Diane Goldner, an energy healer for 20 years, does hands on healing in New York and Los Angeles and long-distance healing with people around the United States and is the author of 3 books on healing, all endorsed by top doctors: Yes, You Can Heal, Awakening to the Light and How People Heal. For more information, you can email her here.

When I began investigating energy healing many years ago, I was a skeptical journalist. I spent five years delving into the mysteries of subtle energy for my first book. What I discovered changed my life. I ultimately went from writing for The New York Times and The Wall Street Journal to helping people heal pain; release cancer and other illnesses; solve money, relationship and other life issues; and enable women and couples to get pregnant and have a healthy baby. (more…)

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